September 12, 2018 at 10:58 p.m. was the moment I found out I was going to be a mother. I remember the evening so vividly. Oakley and I had a long day. As usual, my routine before bed was to get into the shower. Oakley happened to walk in as I was about to hop in. It appeared he had a funny look on his face. He said I look different, and that my breasts were veiny. Not thinking too much into what he had said, I got in the shower. I thought all women have veiny boobs, right? Oakley was looking up symptoms of pregnancy, and the only one that related was veiny breasts. He was insisting we go get a pregnancy test. Anyone who knows my husband, knows that if there is one related symptom to a topic he’s looking up, he freaks out. I felt like he was overthinking this whole thing. Throughout my entire life my menstrual cycles have always been irregular. I guess I just thought that most women had some sort of intuitive feeling when they’re pregnant. A feeling that their body had changed, or just that something was off. Yet, I seemed to have neither of those.
We headed into town to the nearest store to pick up a pregnancy test. As I’m siting in the car, the obvious thoughts come to mind. Am I really pregnant? If so, how did I not know? What are we going to do? Newly engaged we weren’t exactly trying, but we definitely weren’t preventing. I think in that moment, I realized the possibility wasn’t that far off.
Finally, we made it back home and went straight to the bathroom. Oakley hands me the stick, I pee, and we wait. Two minutes go by and Oakley is just starring at the test. He looks at me with this half smile, smirk, and says “You’re pregnant”. My hands went straight to my face to cover the tears. I was shocked. Some of the most powerful emotions I had ever felt overcame me. I was questioning everything. Am I ready to be a mom? Can I do this? As tears rolled down his face, I wondered, Is Oakley ready? How are we going to tell our parents? I felt happy, nervous and vulnerable, all at the same time. Everything was about to change, and I wasn’t prepared for that. Thinking about raising a small tiny human at the age of twenty two, scared me. Oakley and I had always talked about having kids, and what it would be like. We just didn’t expect to conceive so soon. In so many ways we still felt like kids, how could we raise one?
As I got accustom to the idea of being pregnant, deep down I knew everything was going to be alright. We both knew we had great support systems. Telling our parents that we were pregnant, was quite nerve racking. Considering Oakley and I weren’t even married yet, I was worried about what they might say. Anticipating the conversations we needed to have, I had no idea how to go about it. The most vivid memory I have, was telling my mom. I asked her to stop over, which at the time, was pretty unusual. I can remember her telling me that she had already had some sort of mothers intuition that something was up. When I broke the news to her, she smiled and then proceeded to ask Oakley if we had any beer, in a joking manner. We all shared a quick laugh and she had so many comforting words, which was exactly what we needed at the time. After breaking the ice, we seemed to have a little more confidence leading into conversations with the rest of our parents about the pregnancy. Thankfully, we received nothing but support from all of our parents and family members.
As if the excitement of Oakley and I being engaged wasn’t already enough for us, we now had to prepare for the biggest transition in our lives. The next few weeks were full of so many different emotions, good and bad. I was a brand new hair stylist trying to build my clientele, and Oakley had just started going to school to become a barber. Needless to say, we were absolutely not prepared financially to be parents. That is where most of our worries came into play. Yet, on top of the worry and sense of instability, we still found some excitement. We were going to be parents! We knew early on that even if we were broke, we were going to be the best parents we could be.
A few decisions had to be made early on. Does Oakley quit school and get a full-time job, or does he stick it out? Should I go and get a full-time job and give up on being a cosmetologist? These types of questions were lingering in our minds. It didn’t take us long to decide that Oakley becoming a barber was the best bet for our future, so he stuck it out. As for me, I decided I was going to work as a cosmetologist as long as I could. By making these choices, we knew in some ways we were definitely taking the harder path, but in hope that it would all work out. We then began accepting the reality, we needed to prepare to be mom and dad. Oakley picked up as many side jobs as he could, and I kept focusing on doing hair. We seemed to be making it work.
The both of us can still remember the sense of losing control. We knew that every decision we made from here on out mattered. To look back at the beginning stages of the pregnancy, I truly feel like I was so young, mentally and physically. I had no idea what I was getting into.
That night in September, was a roller coaster of emotions. The weeks that followed me peeing on that little stick were full of even more crazy emotions. As all you mothers know, finding out your pregnant with your first child is a bit overwhelming. The worry, fear, stress, anxiety, etc. was enough to make me cry at any given moment. It only took a slight moment of realization of my situation to feel completely overwhelmed and helpless. I knew this was going to be a long ride, but I also knew it was going to be worth it in the end.
This is the beginning of my story. The story of me becoming a mother to my two beautiful babies, which just happens to be my favorite story in the whole wide world. I will be posting every three weeks. For upcoming posts, subscribe to my email list and follow me on Instagram! Stay tuned for the next chapter in this crazy journey of becoming a mommy to twins!
-Annalissa ❤
In Like Twin 