In Like Twin

The time had finally come. I will never forget the feeling of sitting in my bed next to Oakley as my amniotic fluid poured out of me. The past 9 months, the ups and the downs of the entire twin pregnancy, had finally brought me to this moment. I was terrified, excited, and overwhelmed all at once. We were going to parents after today! I knew Oakley felt the exact same way as we frantically jumped out of bed and tried to get me to the shower as I drenched our entire house. I wanted to stop the water, but it was impossible, it just kept coming. Oakley hopped on the phone and called the hospital to let them know my water had broken. On the phone, he could barely get any words out he was so excited, but luckily the labor and delivery nurses had experience dealing with worried fathers. The next obstacle was that our hospital was a little over an hour away so we weren’t sure if it would be safe to make the drive all the way there after my water had already broken. My biggest fear was that my body would try to begin delivering the twins. This was so scary because Haven and Beckham were both head up at our last ultrasound, which is absolutely not the way you would want them positioned if planning for a natural vaginal birth. Luckily I wasn’t having any contractions, so the nurse gave us the okay to head up there. Our bags were already packed, along with the carseats, so all we needed to do was hop in the van and go! As we took off from our home, it was an odd feeling to think that the next time we arrived home, we’d be parents to two brand new babies.

The drive to the hospital is when I felt the reality start to crash in on me. I was anxious, not just the everyday type of anxious, but the type of anxious where I was just trying not to cry. I had no idea what to expect other than I was having an emergency C-section. The word emergency alone was enough to make me feel anxious, but now I was rushing into the hospital to have my belly cut open. I tried to stay as positive as I could, but there was no hiding how I truly felt. I began to have contractions fifteen minutes into the drive. Sh** was getting really real at that point. These were the first contractions that actually had any pain associated with them and that’s when I knew how close this really was. Oakley called the hospital again on our way there to see if we should stop halfway at a closer hospital or if we should finish the rest of the drive. With the birth being considered high risk, they decided I would be best to finish the drive and put myself into the best care possible. The hospital I had the twins was the only hospital in our area that had a NICU, which we knew that there was a possibility the babies or at least one of them might have to stay there for a period.

After what seemed like the longest drive of my entire life, we had made it. Oakley got out of the car with me at the emergency entrance, put me in a wheelchair and we headed up to labor and delivery to check in. My heart was pounding. I literally felt as if I were in a movie. There I was, sitting in a wheelchair with my big puffy feet and my belly stretched to its absolute limit as my fiance pushed me down the hospital hallways. I was going to meet my son and daughter today. My son and daughter that I had grown in my own womb. The feeling was surreal, but I was as ready as I could ever be. Following checking in, prep for delivery started. Out of all of the times we had gone to the same hospital for appointments and check ups, and even practice runs for this exact scenario, nothing could’ve prepared me for what I was feeling.  Oakley and I were put in a little room and I was told to change into a hospital gown, and to put a protective mesh hat on, and a nurse would be in soon. We then sat and waited, I remember Oakley trying to be positive and supporting as much as he could, although I couldn’t really keep it together. From the moment my water had broken, we were in a mad rush. This was the calm before the storm. This was our last moment as a couple with no babies. All of those thoughts of becoming a mother when I was young, and having children of my own, they weren’t just a dream anymore. It was happening.

The contractions started to become really painful. They would last for about five minutes and then go away, but come back even stronger and last even longer. Fear started to take me over. I could feel my face flushing. The pain was enough to bring tears to my eyes at this point. All I could think about in my mind is, is this really happening? Are my babies going to be okay? How am I going to get through this, am I going to be okay? Oakley was such a great supporter. I remember him grabbing my hands and looking me in the eyes and saying, “Everything is going to be okay, can I pray with you?”. As we prayed, tears rolled down my face, as well as his. I had come to the realization that everything is in God’s hands at this point. A doctor that was on call came in and introduced himself and explained what I should expect when going into the operating room. Oakley was then given mesh pants, a shirt and a hat to put on before we were able to head in. I will never forget him walking into the prep room wearing his bright blue outfit. I couldn’t help but smile. We were about to become parents.

I was then taken back to the operating room to finish the final steps of prep while Oakley waited in the hallway just outside. I walked into the room and saw five nurses and my doctor. There were two little beds in the room ready for our babies, and my bed was right in the center of the room with big bright lights above it. Seeing the two little beds already set up and ready to welcome our babies was a calming feeling. I knew how close this really was. I was taken to the table, told to sit down and lean forward. The nurse was explaining within ten seconds you will not feel anything from your breastbone down. At that point, I was feeling so vulnerable and naked sitting on the operating table. All I wanted was Oakley to be there in the room with me because I was so scared. Thankfully I had a sweet nurse that was willing to hold my hands. The anesthesiologist inserted the needle into my back and within seconds I had lost feeling. The nurses then shifted my body and laid me on the table. 

Oakley finally came into the room, it seemed like he had been gone for so long. He was given a chair and he sat right next to me. I looked at him and began to cry. This was happening so fast and I was so scared. I couldn’t feel anything, other than tingles throughout my body. I just kept thinking that there was no way that this was normal, I began to shake and became cold. I remember telling Oakley that I felt cold and he could visibly see me shaking. I could tell he was just as nervous as me. The anesthesiologist let us know that it was normal and everything was going to be alright. A blue drape was put up below my breast bone and the delivery began. We couldn’t see anything below the blue drape, which I was happy about. The doctor told Oakley he could look if he wanted, which didn’t last long as he decided to sit right back down with a queasy look on his face. After sitting for a minute, he smiled and looked at me and said “Are you ready to meet our babies?”. I then tearfully responded, “yes”. I was an emotional wreck by this time.

The doctor let us know he was making the incision and within a few minutes our babies would be born. My body began to move on the table. I felt like I was being pulled and tugged on in different directions. I felt a little horrified because I’ve never experienced anything like this before. The shakes had gotten worse and all I wanted was our babies to be out and healthy. Thankfully, within seconds our baby girl was born. We both heard her scream, which made us hysterically cry. The emotion was overwhelming as the doctor lifted our little Haven Noel up over the blue sheet. The nurse took her to her bed to make sure everything was alright and then she wrapped her up and handed her to us instantly. My little chunky, puffy lady was so beautiful. A minute later our little man was born. He was so wide eyed and confused. He was also so puffy, chunky and handsome. Time seemed to slow down as Oakley and I held our babies. It felt absolutely unreal.   Our babies were perfect. The worry about the shakes and the chills and everything faded away as we held our little ones. The next 15-20 minutes seemed to go by so fast as we watched them clean the twins up. The doctor began to stitch my belly back together and Oakley and the twins went to the recovery room to wait for me. I couldn’t wait to get in there with my little family.

In the recovery room, my body felt weird and numb still. We were both so focused on the twins. The nurses began to let family members come back to see the babies one by one. As each family member came back, the room filled with tears and smiles. Just when I thought the pain was over, a nurse came in. I was told that she had to push down on my uterus to make sure that all of the blood was out and that it was shrinking down. This was horrible. We were in the recovery room for a couple of hours as they monitored my vitals to make sure I was healthy. I can remember being so thirsty as I chugged water after water. During the recovery process, it was so nice to be able to watch my mom and dad and Oakley’s mom and dad hold the twins. I could already tell how much joy these little lives were going to bring to our families. The time in recovery went by fast and we were told that we were going to be moved to our room for the next few days.

I was wheeled on a portable bed with the twins in my arms on our way up to our new room and Oakley followed. When we got to the room, we tried to get settled in. Oakley went down to the van and brought all of our luggage up as if we were on vacation. As we tried to unpack, the nurses started to pour in and introduce themselves. From the first moment we met the nurses, we were so grateful for them. The first nurse that came in happened to be from the same small town we were from and that brought a sense of comfort. She hooked up the monitors to check my vitals and also had to push on my uterus a couple of times to make sure everything was going back to normal. I still felt so out of it. The pain medication had me feeling extremely sedated and it made it hard to enjoy the early moments with my little ones. But the real struggle began later that day when they removed the catheter and encouraged me to get up and walk around. 

The birth was over, but I had a feeling the hardest part of this C-Section was going to be the recovery, and that was starting now. As I laid on the bed, the nurses came in to remove the catheter. After removing the catheter, I was told to try to sit up and move to the side of the bed. I felt like I had no abdominal muscles at all. I was a limp noodle. But to make matters worse, for some reason I was beginning to feel extremely light headed and I had shortness of breath. This was the first sign that something was off. The night nurse explained it as being fatigue from the surgery and continued to try to help me stand up. The moment my feet hit the floor, I was worried. I began to stand up and my head was pounding. My brain felt like it was being squeezed like I had never felt before. I started to sweat profusely and was extremely nauseous. Oakley was right there holding my hands and noted that I didn’t look so good. He kept saying that I looked yellow. When I started to stand up all the way, blood hit the floor and created a big puddle and I instantly felt like I was going to pass out.

I had made it through 9 months of a twin pregnancy, I made it through the delivery, but something was now wrong. I just knew it and so did Oakley as he kept telling nurses that something was definitely wrong. This was the beginning of the toughest battle of my life.

-Annalissa ❤